Just the other night I talked to him for a long time. Everyone had left so it wasn't like we would be disturbed. The only thing against me was time, but in the end I felt like I had just enough time.
The talk itself was fulfilling and it made me at ease for the rest of the night, but it wasn't as fulfilling as, say...the hugs or the kisses.
I felt like he was mine again, a forbidden feeling I had longed to feel for some time and it was returning. I knew I had to lock it up right after we departed, but for the time being, in that parking lot, with only a streetlight beaming down on us, the darkness engulfing us, we talked about the way we felt and reminessed about the good times we'd had. It was a fitting conversation, especially since it had been our last day of school.
I came close to him and leaned my head on his shoulder, trying to hold him to get warm. He wasn't responding to me as I'd hoped.
As we were talking, though, he took me in his arms and held me close. I felt so warm there with him, so loved, and perhaps even wanted. I looked up at him, and in my own way, with my smiling eyes, I told him I loved him.
He picked me up off the ground and a smile spread across my face. Something I could have never expected he'd do. It made me so happy to be so close to him. For him to hold me like that.
I looked up at him again and smiled. Once again my eyes told him I loved him, and yet somehow, I wanted to show him further. A kiss....thats what came to mind, but I didn't want to be the one to give it. I didn't want to seem like a fool and force it on him if he didn't want it.
He kissed me. It wasn't a surprise, but it was still lovely all the same. His eyes were begging for it. They told me he wanted the kiss. And I wasn't hesitant to give it to him.
He apologized, but I wouldn't have it and brought him back in for another kiss. We continued to kiss until he realized it was time to go. So he walked me to my car.
Another kiss, and then another. And then....a question. Was I still in love with him? Of course I had been thinking about this question all day and answered him only after a slight pause, my speech stifled by tears welling up. If I could I would marry him. I would spend the rest of my life with him. That's how much I love him.
Then the tears....he said he was sorry for putting me through this and that I didn't have to wait for him. I knew that, but even if I didn't want to my feelings wouldn't let me.
He brushed off my tears and gave me one fine kiss. Hmm...a hint of tongue. I felt it....and now I want him. I miss him so badly. But I'm glad that the last memory I had with him was one I could cherish pleasantly forever.